last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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