I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
