My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just puked most of my soul out..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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