do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
