Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
