did you get engaged???
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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