Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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