Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
