her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
