They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i believe in u and ur pee
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize