need another drink. this is the easiest way
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Welp...herpes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
