So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize