My Higher Power is John Stamos
she smelled like a LAN party
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
