Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
