Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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