Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
