I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
