Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
