Life is so much better after having sex.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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