hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
