Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
