Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize