The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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