I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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