the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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