theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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