i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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