I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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