i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
