Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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