You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
