You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
