im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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