have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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