He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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