Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You ate ashes out of my bong
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
