So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
