I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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