Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
