i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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