Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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