I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
