his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
