did you get engaged???
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
