My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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