Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
