yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
