remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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