dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
this beer tastes like vomit already
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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