this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
