I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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