sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
