I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
