Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
