Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
