If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
