And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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