i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
